Wellness Wednesday
According to Psychology Today, the most common regrets people have are related to romance, family, education, career, finance, and parenting, according to a survey. Short-term regrets tend to be about things people did, whereas long-lasting regrets tend to relate to inaction. Our minds tend to focus on negative experiences as a way of protecting us from repeating mistakes, but we can learn from our regrets. This week, we are sharing Psychology Today's eight ways to learn from regret. They are:
1. Accept personal responsibility. You can see your part in a particular situation or circumstance and gain personal insight into what was the impetus that led you there. 2. Have insight into who you were in the past. We must step outside of the person we have been, remember the person we want to be and are capable of being, and strive to work towards change and enhancing ourselves for the future. 3. Understand your core values and what regret means to you. People who have regrets about the long-ago past tend to pine for things they should have done. More recent regrets tend to revolve around things we did but wish we hadn’t done. Better understanding your core values gives you clear direction on what values you may have violated or overlooked. 4. Know how mistakes can be a masterful teaching tool. A life without regret is not only virtually impossible, it would eliminate a fundamental emotion that spurs you and others to be vigilant about avoiding future mistakes. 5. Embrace impermanence, lack of control and adapting to change. Everything in life is impermanent and there are really no guarantees. We often do not have control over the things that happen to us and must expect adversity and challenges. This requires us to build our coping skills and find productive ways to adapt to change and cope with whatever comes our way, whether it be positive or negative. 6. Evaluate the meaning of your relationships. This may give you an opportunity to strengthen your relationships and may be the perfect time to remove unhealthy relationships from your life. 7. Live mindfully and be in the present moment. If you are stuck in regret, so much so that you are preoccupied with it or it is getting in the way of moving forward or taking action on behalf of your values, you have a fundamental choice as to whether you will continue to regret or mindfully and compassionately forgive yourself. 8. Turn regret into gratitude. The sentiment is not to just forget the past and move on. It is rooted in acceptance regarding what has happened without hoping it were different, recognition that you cannot turn back time, and awareness that you need to feel the feelings that get evoked from regret.
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